


Better A Broken Heart than A Broken Neck

by stoisical



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe-Hospital, Angst, M/M, Nurse! Sakusa x Patient! Atsumu, OsaSuna if u squint, VSD, why did i even write this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-08
Updated: 2020-06-08
Packaged: 2021-03-04 00:53:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,467
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24604999
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stoisical/pseuds/stoisical
Summary: Let me tell you a story about how I gave my heart to the person that I can never call mine.
Relationships: Kita Shinsuke/Miya Atsumu, Miya Atsumu/Sakusa Kiyoomi
Comments: 24
Kudos: 162





	Better A Broken Heart than A Broken Neck

I always thought how you stole my heart the moment I saw your perfect sets in high school. No, that's an overstatement. You had a cocky mouth and a haughty attitude, and your hair looks like piss, but for some reason I still fell for those. But, I wouldn't want to go in depth, it's too embarrassing.

And I'll still choose you anyways.

But at the end of the day, jokes on me. You didn’t have to steal it because I’d give it to you willingly.

I remember that day vividly. I was at the nurse’s station when Dr. Washijou came and said I’d be assigned to you. I was finishing encoding the data of a recently admitted patient and I thought how that name sounds familiar.

“Sakusa-kun, I’m assigning my patient to you. Miya Atsumu. He’s been admitted because of his recurring VSD. He’s been operated when he was a baby but there seems to be some irregularities and his lungs needs to be checked.”, Dr. Washijou said animatedly as he placed some files on the countertop.

When I finished typing I looked to Dr. Washijou and nodded. He then took his leave and I disinfected the folder he placed on the counter.

I had no idea where Dr. Washijou had those files before, so better be safe than sorry.

**Miya Atsumu**

I read through your file. I was surprised about what I read. It was congenital but you look fine. Well, maybe you _looked_ fine. We played against each other in high school, attended camps and saw each other. You didn’t look sick and you were perfectly up and about. Who would have thought that you had this?

I heaved a heavy sigh as I closed your folder and stood up to go check on my other patients.

I didn’t know what to feel when the person I admired and chose to forget is suddenly — back and someone I’m assigned to take care of.

I had to clear my head and busy myself with work, because I knew I can’t escape this. It was Dr. Washijou himself that gave it. When he assigns a patient to a nurse, the whole time that patient is in the hospital, the nurse must be hands on with that patient. He’s notorious for that. Dr. Washio doesn’t like the constantly switching nurses because his patients always needs the extra care.

I was too busy calming myself that I didn’t realize that you were a critical case.

-

When I first entered your room, you were alone and was watching something on the TV. A basket of fruit on the side table, and some containers of pickled plums and fatty tuna. I glanced at the screen and it was the game of the Eastern Japan Paper Mills Raijin vs. Tachibana Red Falcons.

You looked quite different from the last time I saw you in high school. I can’t deny that your hair looks more decent now. You lightened up the shade of your hair and thankfully, it looks a lot less like piss. You’re probably taller (but I’m pretty sure I’m taller), your physique is more defined. All I knew after high school was you went pro, while I went off to college and pursued nursing...for reasons.

You looked very engrossed watching the game, I even recall you roasting your brother’s boyfriend. You mostly only praised Aran who I assume was your former teammate as well.

“Go Aran-kun!! Go beat that ass of Sunarin!”

If I remember correctly, you said a lot more than that and you still didn’t seem to notice me. You even muttered things about your brother leaving you alone in the hospital just to watch EJP’s game live. I would’ve chuckled but I was more irritated because you were still unaware of my presence, and you just kept cursing and cheering your former teammates.

I had a job to do.

I cleared my throat and called for your attention.

“Miya-sama”

You head turned to my direction, surprised of the sudden voice.

“I’m Sakusa, and I will be your nurse as per request of Dr. Washijou.”

The look of shock in your face was still evident. I just did my job as I checked your IV and if it was doing it’s thing of providing you the nutrients you need.

I could feel your stares but I chose to ignore them. But then you finally decided to talk.

“Sakusa Kiyoomi?”

“Yes. That’s me”

“Freaky wrists, Itachiyama’s ace, one of Japan’s top ace Sakusa Kiyoomi??”

“Yes to all of those Miya-sama. If there isn’t anything else, I’ll be taking my leave now.”

“No no no! Wait Sakkun! For real though? You’re a nurse? What brings you here?”

You pestered me with a lot of questions that aren't even relevant. Plus, you made me stop calling you Miya-sama. You even made a long ass explanation because it made you feel old, your brother is Miya too, and you felt like I was addressing your parents. So I started calling you, Atsumu. For someone who was rushed to the hospital for a recurring case of VSD, you had a lot of energy and a lot to say. Were you trying to put up a façade because you might never be able to play again, or were you just plainly pissing me off? In that moment, I just wanted you to shut up. But who knew I'd one day miss your machine gun mouth.

As your days in the hospital prolonged, looking for entertainment in a "too sterile and quiet boring place" - a hospital, you'd name the plants and flowers given to you.

You got a lot of yellow daisies, sunflowers, yellow roses, and some succulents.

I came into you room and found you naming each and every one that you got. I doubt that you even recall them all because they would all wither in a few weeks.

I guess except for that artichoke agave that of course didn't wither. I was pissed that you named it after me, but I was taken aback when you told me why. 

"Hey Omi-omi, look at this succulent I got. I'mma name it Kiyo 'cause it looks like ya."

"That's an artichoke agave, and why the hell are you naming a plant after me?"

"For one, it looks pretty and nice to look at. Second, its prickly, just like ya. So I think Kiyo would suit it."

You said that it in a tone I couldn't describe with a look to the plant as if it were...longing?

Was it the boredom, was it my doubts and expectations? God, I wanted to cut that tongue of yours. What was going on through that silly head of yours?

I glared at you and ignored what you said. I didn't have time to play around with you. I made sure you got the medicine you need and there isn't anything wrong with you, and I left.

Your nicknames for me pissed me off. Especially the day you thought that my name was too long and named me “Omi” and all its varieties.

I never heard the end of it since then. It was irritating, and I would always tell you to quit it. It was unprofessional, but I never realized that I eventually let it slide. Maybe, some part of me knew there was just no stopping you.

I didn’t even realize that I got so used to it, that when you called me Sakusa, it felt — strange.

—

Three weeks into the hospital, I had to make you wear a nasal cannula. You had an irregular increased heart rate, unsteady breathing, and the physical examination along with the 2D Echo concluded that there's a leak. Your patched up medium VSD developed some small leaking holes around it. You also had to stay for a few more weeks to keep watch that leak and doesn't further enlarge.

You had to take furosemide so that water wouldn't build up in yours lungs, and another medicine that would regulate your heart rate.

You complained a lot when I was putting it on you, but you started breathing better when it was all settled.

"Omi-omi."

"What now?", as I was fitting the nasal cannula on you.

"Will I still be able to play? Ya know when this is all over? I thought that I'd be out in a few days and be up and 'bout, and now, you're putting this thing on me.", you said as you pointed to the nasal cannula.

"If you listen to me and drink your medicine, most likely, yes."

"And if I don't?"

"Hmm, you bother to ask? Untreated VSDs can be very fatal, not that I have experienced dealing a patient with one. Want to be my guinea pig?"

"THAT'S SO MEAN OMI-OMI! Is that how you treat your very amazing pro volleyball player patient that you had the luck of having to take care of?"

"More like cursed. As long as you listen to Dr. Washijou and I, and get proper treatment, soon enough maybe you'd be back with your team.''

"NOW THAT'S JUST RUDE OMI-KUN! What did I ever do to ya?!"

Of course that wasn't the end of it as I just smirked under my mask at your (endless) whining. Once I've checked everything's in its place, I told you to rest and left.

I wonder if it was just a spur of the moment because of your Olympic sized ego or you really meant it, but maybe I am lucky to be the one to take care of you. I just didn't realize it that time.

\--

It was probably my wishful thinking when I said that _soon enough_ you'd be back with your team.

Taking care of you was manageable, and not. You'd talk about the most random of things as I give you your medicine, and make sure that the oxygen you're getting is just the right amount. You'd ask about my day and how I'm dealing with my other patients. You'd ask things about my mask and if I wear gloves when the case of a patient has something to do with the skin. You talked a lot. But I couldn't really blame you when you usually play volleyball for a living and now stuck in a four walled room, alone.

You were diligent in taking your medicine and listening to the instructions of Dr. Washijou. But for some reason, your condition worsened as the weeks went by.

"Omi-omi, I just want to go home. I keep telling them I'm fine. I can go home!"

"You heart says otherwise. You're not fine and you need to rest.", I said firmly.

"I always think that it's better a broken heart than a broken neck. If that were the case, I wouldn't be able to play volleyball, an' that's an absolute no go. Am pretty sure I'd go insane."

"Not funny Miya. You're still lucky that you got to where you are now despite having a congenital heart problem. At least be thankful for that."

"I am thankful for that, but Omiii, look at these muscles", as you flexed your arm without the IV.

"These things can't maintain themselves when I'm just holed up here. I wanna playy. Let me set for you please?? Let's go outt."

"No, you can't. Not with one arm with an IV and a nasal cannula at your face. And, I can't play either. So just rest."

"Thanks a lot for reminding me Omi-kun."

"..."

"Hey, I've been wondering, why'd ya stop playing? Has being a nurse always been yer dream?"

I knew you were just curious and didn't really meant pry. But I hate being reminded about a broken dream because I wasn't careful. No, scratch that. I am always careful, but as they say, injuries are inevitable no matter how prepared you can be.

I didn't answer you and immediately just left your room.

\--

Some days later, your bedside table had stacks of board games and snacks.

"Omi! Right on time. Come 'ere, let's play!"

"I have work to do Miya."

"Oh my favorite nurse Sakusa-san, I know I'm yer last patient for the day, wouldn't ya makin' time for yer favorite patient?"

"I'm your only nurse and, how did yo-"

My phone vibrated indicating I had a message.

**[Head Nurse Shimizu]**

_Kiyoomi-kun, you can spend the rest of the day at Miya-sama's room and keep him company. :)_

You were in cahoots with the nurses huh. Whatever did you even do to make them speak up? I'll be talking to Shimizu-san later. 

I put my phone back into my pocket as I sighed and went to check your vitals. When I was about to leave, you tugged on my shirt.

"Can ya really bare to leave me all alone in this boring room, Sakusa-san?", and you fucking pouted.

"I had all these prepared so that we can play. And, I heard ya liked pickled plums, so here.", you said with a huge grin as your other hand held a container of pickled plums.

"You planned this really well Atsumu. What for?", as I got the pickled plums. "Is this clean? Where did you get these?", I asked referring to the pickled plums before I opened it.

"Hey! Of course they are! My favorite nurse is hard to coax, so I needed the help of the others just to make ya stay. And it's from your favorite store.", you said as you grinned triumphantly.

"Is that so? And if I decide to leave either way?", I countered as I started eating the pickled plums from Ojii-san's store.

"Oh come on Omi-omii. Can't I just want yer company? AND YER EATING THE PLUMS!"

"Who said I was leaving anyways?"

After that, you smiled and finally stopped whining. You got the stacks of board games, while I got the rolling side table and placed it in front of you. You made me sit in front of you while trying to choose which board game to play. Then, you asked me if there's any game I never lost to and I answered chess. You wanted a chess battle and, I didn't back down of course. At the 8th round, you yelled.

"There just ain't beating ya huh Omi-kun?!"

"Use your head Atsumu, and you'd be in my shoes too."

"Foul! Yer really like Kiyo! Or maybe, ya can read minds and yer just not sayin' anythin. Ya can, can ya?"

"Quit it with the plant and, I'm aware. And no, want to play a different game? Isn't this boring you too already?"

You huffed while we packed away the chess pieces.

"You can do your best in the other ones.", I attempted to cheer you up.

"You bet I will!"

We raided your tower of board games. We almost fought in Monopoly, but we ended in a truce, so we played another game. And yeah, fuck you, your for calling me a male Medusa because the snakes in Snakes&Ladders can't get enough of me and I kept going down. And an extra fuck you for you, because you dare say that with the right hairstyle, my curls looks like snakes. You ended shaking with laughter and tears at your eyes about that. Of course it was annoying, I wanted to smack you but I wouldn't want to take responsibility if your condition worsened.

Since that, we started playing other games too. Or when I'm busy, you found some apps that can be played online like Scrabble. It didn't mean much at first, but before I knew it, I was looking forward to it. Especially when it's time to check up on you and you'd berate me where I even got the words I put in. I would just chuckle and tell you that I guess going to college had some perks. I smiled as you went on with your cussing and whining. 

\--

The next time I had to check on you, it was quite a surprise. 

I came into your room with a container of Jenga pieces and my clipboard. You asked if there's one in the entertainment room. I asked around so I picked it up that day.

You had a huge smile on your face and not a trace of that bored frowny face you have that I usually see is evident.

Your foreheads were touching and you had that lovesick smile plastered on your face. You stared at him so lovingly. I wanted to leave.

Kita Shinsuke visited you that day.

I was slapped with the reality that there's just no chance.

You have always been his and he will always be yours.

I could still remember that Youth Camp in the second year of high school. You're a skilled player and you always had your way of having spikers dance to your tune and making sure they hit your sets. You had a foul mouth, but you have that appealing aura that people can't just get enough off. You were able to socialize well with the other players, while I just stuck close to my cousin. I was being too careful in not getting close around people. I didn't know how those people took care of themselves and how they keep clean. I'm not interested in finding out anyways.

When I finished taking a shower, I was on my way to the vending machine when I caught sight of that piss hair of yours. I was gonna continue regardless of your presence, when I heard you were talking to someone on the phone.

"Yeah, Kita-san. I'm alright. No, no hahaha yes, I -"

I didn't really understand my feelings then, but I turned around and decided I can get what I wanted from the vending machine at a later time. The duration of the camp, we didn't interact much and only during the time that we're in the same team for a practice match.

The next time we saw each other was at the Spring High, we were waiting for our next game when I turned around a corner and in the end of that hallway, you were gripping the waist of dual-colored haired man as you were shaking and crying your eyes out. I think I saw your twin doing the same to the one with the #10 jersey in your team.

The person you were holding on had teary eyes that he was trying to blink away. I saw that he was your captain, whispering comforts as he stroked your hair. As I was on my way, it was probably your coach that called and I heard, "Kita, gather the team. We'll be leaving in an hour."

Inarizaki lost and I guess we wouldn't meet in the same orange court that Spring High.

Moreover, so _that's_ Kita-san.

You used to call him Kita-san, now you call him _Shinsuke_.

\--

You know those drama's where the main character is jealous of the person dating their crush, but you can't really hate them, because they're so perfect for each other? Like two puzzle pieces that were meant to be together, that's you and Kita-san.

I've never craved attention, until I tasted yours. Luckily, I was taught that if something you like is there, then be thankful, if it's not, don't look for it.

I don't want your attention, it was never mine to begin with.

The whole time that he stayed in the hospital to take care of you, our usual games or snack/dinner together was stopped. Why did I have to be there when your lover was there to do it for you? Every time I went to check up on you, not a time didn't I see you just stare or look at him lovingly. I'm pretty sure if not for that IV and nasal cannula, you'd pounce on him.

You had that really sweet face that could give people diabetes. Kita-san would melt if you looked at him any much longer and I'm surprised he's still perfectly intact.

If Kita-san wasn't a farmer, he would've been a pretty good nurse. He's so hands-on, he knows how to put you in place and still sound nice, its as if he perfectly knows how to take care of people. Plus, he's very efficient in cleaning. When you introduced him to me, he didn't seem anything special. But his simple presence had this unshakeable confidence in it that I'm having difficulty in describing it.

"Omi-kun! Meet my boyfriend, Shin-chan!"

"Good afternoon, I'm Sakusa Kiyoomi. Miya-sama's nurse."

"I told ya to quit callin' me that!"

"I'm Kita Shinsuke. Atsumu isn't giving you a hard time, is he?", introduced the man with light grey hair with black tips, and dark eyes.

"He can be a handful, but I think I got used to it."

"Tsumu, don't give Sakusa-san a hard time. You're not the only patient he's tending too."

"Shinsuke! I-"

You're very lucky to have him Atsumu. I can't envy the man who paints a smile on your face like that. It was a smile on your face nonetheless, and I would do anything to make sure it stays.

I wish I was the painter, but I didn't see the point in lingering on these thoughts.

It wouldn't matter in the end.

\--

Kita-san's stay in the hospital came to an end. As much as he wanted to stay longer, he had to go back to Hyogo. The rice fields can't manage themselves as he said. He left with a kiss on your head and the promise of calling and video chatting you as frequently as the both of you could.

He told me to take care of you well for him.

And so, I did.

\--

Our _usual_ routine is back. Dr. Washijou made me watch over for you longer and the time I had to stay in your room prolonged. Sitting in silence was just impossible for you and you had your brother bring your laptop and downloading movies on it.

We watched all the movies you never got to watch because you were too tired after training. We also watched the Disney movies that I never watched and called me an uncultured swine and what kind of childhood I had.

Astrology books, puzzles, and volleyball are fun, just so you know. But I had to agree with you when you said Beauty and the Beast is just Stockholm Syndrome.

But one day, you suddenly asked while we were watching Christopher Robin, the live-action one where Christopher Robin is already an adult.

_I don't feel very much like Pooh today._

"Omi?

"Hm?"

"How did you deal with it?"

"Deal with what?"

"Not being able to play anymore?"

I didn't want to talk about it. You had that defeated face while you asked, then I remember Dr. Washijou visited him yesterday.

"What makes you say I chose to stop?"

"I know", you had that lazy knowing grin.

However did you know, I don't know to this day and I wouldn't want to know and, I guess it wouldn't really matter.

That day, I told you about my rotator cuff tendinitis. You were quiet the whole time and you were just listening attentively. It happened in college, truly, people are different there and there will always be someone stronger than you. Of course, I was planning on going pro after college, my parents just wanted that I finished my whole education before doing so. I didn't really have anything against it, so I just went with it. Volleyball somewhat became my safe haven when things became too stressful and I'd practice more and more. Komori would play with me when he's free, it was a great breather but I didn't notice that I was overexerting myself.

One day, when a classmate had me reach for something, it just hurt when I raised my hand. I didn't think too much about it, rested it for a few days and the next time I played with my college team, I had my shoulder wrapped in Kinesio tape. At first, I could still ignore the pain. But it eventually turned into episodes where I would miss the ball too many times and it started frustrating me. My captain suggested I had it checked.

"Sakusa-sama, you have rotator cuff tendinitis.", said Dr. Kenzo, a doctor specializing in Rheumatology.

I was fine with not playing for a while if it meant things would become better soon. And again, _soon_ is such a disappointing word that brought nothing but unprecedented disappointment.

I took a break from playing. I rested, listened to the doctor's recommendations, and how I should exercise my shoulder without worsening the pain. I diligently listened to all of those, but there was still that stiffness that bothered me and would leave me unable to sleep at night. It hurt that much that I'd fall asleep in tears.

The next time I went to the doctor, he suggested steroids.

I wasn't allowed to play for a while, the steroids went well actually. It stopped the pain and my shoulder felt good as new, but the physical therapy that came after, it was the real problem.

Something just felt different. There's that off feeling I can't get rid off when I used my arm more often. The daily things with using the arm to get something, reach something, they were okay. As long as I'm careful, _I'll be okay_. When I slowly tried getting back into playing, I felt nervous and scared. Nervous that I won't be able to play like I used to, and scared that playing might trigger my shoulder again and would no longer be able to play for good.

I tried, I really did. Dr. Kenzo and my family said, it was probably all just in my head. My shoulder was fine and it wasn't painful as it used to be. I can't take in any more medicine that I was prescribed at that time. But the thought of the possibility of my shoulder possibly acting up again if I played again, I couldn't bear it.

If I looked at things differently back then, maybe I could've been awarded as best spiker in college too, maybe I could've gone pro for awhile if my shoulder allowed it. Maybe for a short while, I could've been able to feel the joy in standing in an orange court again. I knew myself better than anyone, _a short while_ wouldn't be enough for me. I wouldn't be satisfied. The thought of having to stop and give up everything halfway unnerves me. I _always_ liked finishing what I started. If that wouldn't be possible for volleyball, I'd have to switch lanes in life even if it's against my will.

I was a sophomore Literature student. I liked it and it was something that I was interested in learning even though I was only finishing my studies. The goal was always to go pro, anyways. Or, what used to be the goal. In the winter of that year, I shifted majors even if it was a path of pain and regret.

There will always be a part of me that wonders _, what if I just didn't think that way? Would I have been happier, despite the possibility of it just ending unpredictably?_

"We could've been teammates, Omi-kun.", was what you suddenly said while I was telling you about what happened. You were a bit teary-eyed and you were trying to hide your sniffing, which was quite futile with a nasal cannula.

"Hmm, you think so? Why are you sniffing? You'll mess up your breathing."

The night wasn't getting any younger and we didn't even notice. Taking care of you, well make sure you don't die, making sure you don't play with your IV, making sure you eat properly, making sure you're fine. I feel lucky I got to do these things for you.

"Ya wouldn't know. Ya were one of Japan's top ace, who wouldn't want a piece of ya?"

"You'd be a pain in the ass if you're my teammate"

"But you can't lie that my tosses are top-notch."

"Wouldn't know if I haven't spiked them."

"Ya have! In camp, we've been in the same teams."

"That's years ago. I'm pretty sure they're different now."

Tears were suddenly flowing your down your face and it caught me off guard. It broke my heart to see you cry, and I'll never admit to that. What was it? Did anything hurt?

I wonder why you were crying about that Atsumu.

"Cause I wish I got to set for ya one last time before you stopped. I wish I could set for ya right now."

"It's okay, Atsumu. That was a while back, I'm okay now.", as I stood up to get and fix the nasal cannula, it was slipping and it had snot in it, and that's just disgusting.

"But you miss it, right? Ya-"

I gently wiped the tears off your face, had you blow your nose, made sure your face is dry. I put the nasal cannula back on you.

"Atsumu, look at me. Steady your breathing, inhale slowly now."

Your eyes still gave away that your cried and your breathing is fine again.

"Saku-"

The sound of the door opening got our attention as we looked at who came in and your brother arrived.

"Sakusa-san? Has 'Tsumu been keeping ya? Sorry, I had some to stop by somewhere before heading here.", explained your brother.

"Just admit you stopped by Suna's! I'm used ta bein' alone here with Omi."

"Dumbass, I got ya that ramen and pudding ya wouldn't shut up about since last week. And, cut Sakusa-san some slack. Ya aren't the only one he's taking care of."

"A pain in the ass, but I'm still alive surprisingly."

"Tsumu, yer a jerk."

It was time for me to leave so that you could spend more time with your brother who only got to visit you during the weekends.

"Osamu-san, since you're I'll be taking my leave now.", I said as I made my way to the door.

"We're having ramen for dinner. Join us.", Osamu said as he pointed to the plastic bag he brought.

"Oh no, it's alright. You two have your time together."

"Omiii, please? I'm pretty sure 'Samu bought tons 'cause he's a glutton."

"Shut yer trap! And he's right I did."

"I'd have to politely decline, as I have some things to attend to.", I said to both of them.

"Suit yerself then.", said Osamu as he started preparing the food.

"Good night.", and I nodded to both of them before I left.

Before the door completely closed, I heard, "Hey Tsumu, have ya been-"

Why were you crying about it, Atsumu? Were those tears for me? Why though? I don't understand.

...

"Omi! Look what I found.", you said when I came into your room.

You had to stay for another few weeks to watch over your condition. It wasn't getting any better, you were slowly deteriorating and I couldn't say anything about it. You were getting paler and becoming thin. Recurring VSDs if not treated soon can lead to heart failure or even death, we're doing everything for things to stabilize but your body won't cooperate. You had another hole in your heart. It's a small one but it can cause problems.

You were waving around your phone and I came to your bedside. 

"Look Omi-omi! 'Samu found a picture of me after my heart operation years back."

Baby Atsumu with black hair had reversed T bandage on his chest with a nasal cannula taped to his little face. Beside him was a white fox plushie with nine tails and an Anpanman plushie too. Balloons were scattered at the back of your bed.

You were a strong and lucky baby, Atsumu. There are some VSD cases that at birth a baby has too many holes or have symptoms of blue baby syndrome that they eventually die even after surgery. I was lucky that I got to meet you and be able to play with you.

"Who knew you were actually adorable Miya, what happened?"

"Excuse me! I still am and even better, and more handsome."

"If that what helps you sleep at night."

"Omi-kun, couldja try once in your life to not be so blunt?!"

You showed some more pictures with your family and even ones you and Osamu were at the bed. After that, you wanted to watch a movie. You chose The Nightmare Before Christmas, after setting up the rolling side table, you scooched over your bend to make room for me. Against my will, our shoulders were brushing at the lack of space.

"Can't I just be at the chair?"

"Nope, ya won't see the movie clearly."

"That's alright with me."

"I want to watch this beside you."

"I'm still with you even though I'm not beside you."

"Can I make a suggestion?"

I scoffed. "And what would that be?"

A smile plastered your face and before I knew it, I had my arm around your shoulder with your head resting at my chest. I thought you're the only one in this room with a heart problem, was the universe conspiring against me? I had to thank my mask for hiding my face, I really fucking needed it that day, but then you're a jerk. Shame on me, a jerk that I like.

"Isn't this better? It saves space, it's comfier, and-"

"You better have had your flu shots."

You looked up to my face with a pout. "Of course, I had! And ya wouldn't have anything ta say with my heart because it's non-transmittable, perfect for ya Omi-Omi"

"You're unbelievable, Mi-."

"Shut yer trap Omi and let's just watch."

You pulled down my mask and shoved an almond chocolate Pepero stick in my mouth, and pressed play on your laptop.

"Atsu-"

"Just shut it Kiyoomi.", and you shoved two Pepero sticks in my mouth and leaned to me closer while eating some yourself.

Your stunt completely shut me up and I just quietly ate while watching the movie. 

_I sense there’s something in the wind, that feels like tragedy’s at hand. And though I’d like to stand by him, can’t shake this feeling that we have. The worst is just around the bend, and does he notice my feelings for him? And will he see how much he means to me? I think it’s not to be._

"Kiyoomi"

"What happened to Omi?"

"Wait, can ya just listen first. And if ya liked the nickname, ya just had to say it Omi-Omi."

"Alright, continue then."

"They said.... I might need another surgery."

I know. But I didn't tell you that and I just listened to you talk.

"My heart isn't responding well and if this keeps up it could lead to cardiac arrest and even...death. Ya probably knew that already, don't ya? But, Washi-jisan said I might need a heart transplant..."

You looked directly at me.

"I don't want another surgery. More so a heart of someone I don't know, and I'm scared it's gonna hurt. I was a baby when I had one before. I don't even remember the pain of it, I'm scared Kiyoomi."

Formalities down the drain, your eyes were beginning to tear up and your voice was shaking.

"Breathe...Atsumu. You're going to be okay...You've been there before, uncomfortable and anxious and you survived...Breathe and know you can survive this too...I know it all feels unbearable right now, just breathe, keep breathing...This too shall pass."

You wiped your tears and you kept sniffing that I had to stand up and fix and clean your nasal cannula, again.

"Can I stay in the reality of your universe? Mine sucks."

I just wanted to make this boy in front of me the happiest he has ever been.

"You wouldn't want to be in mine. Relax, you're going to be fine. You have your family, Osamu, Kita-san...and me, along the way."

You smiled at what I said and shyly asked, "Omi-kun...can I hug ya?"

I hate that I know you showered from the scent of vanilla bean and chocolate that I'm getting from you. I slowly went near you and opened up my arms. An ear to ear smile plastered your face and you immediately wrapped your arms around me, then hugged me tighter.

I can't break free, you wouldn't budge.

"Is this part of your premeditated plan to kill me?"

You loosened your grip, but then gripped me back tighter and buried your face to my neck.

"If I'd do that who'd take care of me then? And this... Is thank you..."

"There are other nurses than me. And for what?"

"I wouldn't want anyone else but you. And I just want to say it to you.", you loosened your grip to look at me as you said that, and then just went back to hugging me.

We stayed in that position until you fell asleep.

...

Dr. Washijou started looking for compatible heart donors. Even if the surgery can't be done soon, at least we have a heart. Once, we get a heart we could start preparing for the surgery. For now we’re just looking for possible candidates. From brain dead patients that are on life support, to hit and run cases that are dead on arrival that can be salvageable, to donors that have already given consent to donate their heart if they accidentally die. There wasn't a match, and we can't really check for sure for the ones that are still alive even though medical history seems promising. We even had Osamu-san and Kita-san checked, it just wasn't compatible.

Weeks went by and we’ve searched hospitals near and far. We checked heart donor organizations but there’s a waiting list to it and it depends on the medical urgency of the receiving patient. Looking for a heart donor was more complicated and difficult than it seems. It was a surprise but one day, we found a match.

A perfect match _too good_ to be true.

“Time and time again, I keep telling you to quit playing with your IV.”

“It itches, Omi-kun.”

“An itch that would go away in a while or your life that could go, poof! If you don’t listen to me.”

“Alright, Alright. Didn’t think you were ever the fairy type but I’ll stop Omi-omi.”

“You better do.”

“Hey, Omi-omi. Guess what.”

“Hm?”

“After spending soo long here Washi-jisan said they finally found a donor. The prep time would begin soon he said, I think in a few weeks? I wasn’t paying attention much but I guess I’ll be having a new heart.”

“That’s great Atsumu, I’m happy for you. One less patient to take care of."

"Just admit that you're gonna miss my handsome face, Omi-omi! Hopefully, I get ta get back ta playing once I've fully recovered."

"I'm wearing my contacts right now, so I can clearly see your rat face. And please make sure you're 10 billion percent fully recovered when you plan on going back."

"Omi-kun, ya prick! Didja just call me a rat and used Senku's 10 billion percent on me?!"

"I'm aware of that. If I did, so what? And what do you take me for? Dr. Stone is very insightful and worth it watch."

"Omi-kun, can't ya lessen that bluntness of yers. And wow, didn't take ya for someone who'd watch anime in the first place."  


"In your wildest dreams, Atsumu. I am not as boring as you think."

"I never said anything! Let's watch anime other than a movie then? 'Samu brought some umeboshi onigiri too!"

"Whatever."

"Have ya watched Fire Force?

"It's on my list, but no."

"Yer missin out Omi! It has a great intro too, Fire Force it is!"

We were once again in the same bundled up position with your head resting on my chest. This time, you didn't have to shove Pepero sticks into my mouth to coax me into that position. I already had my arm open wide when you made me sit beside you. We ate onigiri from your brother's shop while watching.

_I'll keep my promise._

That night had a full moon and its luminescence acted like a night light to the dark sky, I hope you didn't notice that I held you tighter.

That was the last time we watched something together.

...

It was the night before your surgery. Preparations for your surgery have been hectic and there were a lot of emergencies happening that needed the extra manpower that my visits to you lessened. Nevertheless, I still had to check on you but I couldn't stay long for our games or movies. Your brother and Kita-san would only be arriving tomorrow morning because they had to finish up their errands in Hyogo before going here.

I went to check up on you when I finished my visits to my other patients. When I entered your room, you were staring outside. The moon was beautiful in its crescent form, the lights in your room were dim so only the moon's luminescence was kissing your face.

You looked beautiful despite the fear and worry on your face.

I came to your beside and I sat in front of you where we can face each other.

"Kiyoomi, I'm scared.", was what you said when you looked at me as little tears started falling down.

I stroke your tear-stained cheek and your eyes met mine. I tried my best to remember them, because I knew after today, I'd never see them again.

I kissed your forehead and told you that you'll be fine. You had a shocked expression when I kissed your forehead. I just had to, if you can shamelessly do your hugging stunts, then I should at least get a pass for mine.

Your voice was course and hitched as you asked me how sure I was.

I smiled as I caressed your cheek and said, "I just know it, I promise."

_Any day spent with you is my favorite day. So, today is my new favorite day._

How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.

"Good night, Atsumu.", as I swept the your hair away from your face on your sleeping form and I quietly stood up and left your room.

_End of Sakusa Kiyoomi's POV._

...

It has been a week since Atsumu's surgery and he's now in his private ICU room. The transplant was successful and there haven't been any signs of organ rejection. If this keeps up along with tests and medication not having any problems, Atsumu can be out before he knows it.

Atsumu has been awake for some time now and he noticed how its always just the multidisciplinary heart transplant team that just comes to his room other than Dr. Washijou.

Wasn't Sakusa the nurse personally assigned to him? Where is he? Maybe he's been busy is what Atsumu thought.

In the afternoon, when Osamu arrived to watch over Atsumu this time around because their parents had to leave in the morning.

"Hey 'Samu, have you seen Omi around? He hasn't visited me.", asked Atsumu while Osamu was preparing some food.

"Atsumu, haven't you-"

There was a knock on the door and Osamu stopped what he was doing and went to the door. There was a delivery man holding a bouquet of peonies.

"This is for Miya Atsumu-san. A gift for your healthy recovery.", the dark green haired delivery boy smiled and handed the bouquet to Osamu, the twins thanked the man and he took his leave.

"Who's it from 'Samu?", Atsumu inquired when the delivery boy left.

Osamu looked if there's any card hidden in the bouquet to find out who's the sender. Osamu found an envelope and looked at it, he's seen that handwriting.

Osamu looked to Atsumu and sighed as he handed the envelope to him.

"Here's your answer 'Tsumu."

"Whatdaya mean?", Atsumu asked when he had the envelope in his hand.

"Just open it."

"Who's it fr-"

"Shut yet trap and open it."

Atsumu shrugged and opened the cream-colored envelope that had a hint of the scent of the peonies, and was speechless at what he read.

_I kept my promise, Atsumu._

_I know I've always been mean to you, but I can't help but hide my feelings with sarcasm._

_What would you have done if you were suddenly assigned to take care of a person you've had a secret crush in high school and they're a sly jerk that shamelessly flirts despite a congenital heart problem?_

_I'm sorry I wouldn't be able to hit your tosses, but I've left my heart with you. So please take good care of it._

_I love you, Atsumu._

_-Your only Omi_

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for taking the time to read this. I wanted to try something with this fic and that was applying VSD, though I have to admit that I'm quite unsure in the case of a recurring one. So I am sorry for any inaccuracies. I hope you like it!


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